New foster mom.....all over again

I was licensed as a foster parent in December 2010. Since then I have probably had about 29 kids come through my home. When each child arrives I take a picture if them of their first day in my house. I have a scrapbook that I made and I write down the day they came and the day they left and something memorable about them. Well in 2011 I got talking Jack and Sticky and then later in December I got Snack. In 2012 I had 2 older foster kids - the only 2 that I EVER had to ask DHS to remove - that left in May. From there I only had my 3 until they gave me Tater in May 2013 for adoption. My home at one time was open for 5 but when the older two left I had them drop it to 3. Well after I took Tater I guess they thought I wanted to be open for five agin because I got a call asking me to take Mr. Careful - who by the way needs a different name because his true colors are starting to show lol.
I got a call at 6 AM on a Monday morning asking me to take him. I agreed as I realized I'd have to go to storage and get the extra bed, move my girls to the smaller room so the three boys could have the big room - and my least favorite - move the toys back in the living room.....ughhhh
Never can I remember having so much compassion for one of my foster children. But for some reason (maybe cause I hadn't had a placement in nearly a year and a half) this child got me. He was the sweetest little boy but picture this......you go to bed.....you're sleeping soundly......someone is shaking you awake and it's not a familiar face. There are strangers everywhere, you can't find your mom, you security, your strength-where is she. A strange lady tells you that you have to go with her but doesn't really give a reason. You're placed in a strange car, driven to a strange building and now you just sit. It's still dark outside and you're scared. You have your siblings with you so you're ok...a little. Now you're told to go to sleep....on the floor in this strange. You wake up and it's morning - but you still don't know where your mom is. The strange lady says she's found a place for you to go and you're wondering what was wrong with were you where. You are going to go yo a different house than your siblings. Another strange lady picks yup up and takes you to get breakfast and brings you back to the first strange lady who drives forever and takes you to yet another strange lady. They tell you that you're going to stay here for a while and you still don't understand WHY! The new lady shows you where you'll sleep and tells you what you can call her while you're at her house. Then she tells you that she's going to take you to a new school, a new teacher, new friends......Finally, you can't take it anymore......you burst into tears because your 7 year old mind just can't handle another thing.

And thus.....this is why my heart broke. So we both stood there sobbing......him because he didn't understand and me because I could only imagine the horror of going to bed and everything is fine in your world and waking up to a whole new world........I feel like a new foster mom.....all over again